I met a really sweet woman at one of our Beth Moore Bible studies. Her daughter, a year older than Ethan, is in a wheelchair. She was born with a birth defect. When I saw a prayer request for the daughter and that she was in the hospital, I knew I was suppose to go see her. I tried to go Wednesday and it didn't work out. Planned on going yesterday and it didn't work out either. I got up this morning and I told Jim that the only thing I had to do today was to go visit this young lady.
I think I felt like I had to go because it was something God wanted me to do. You know, be a blessing. Do something for someone else. Step out of the old comfort zone. Hospitals are not in my comfort zone. Never have been. Living in one for 21/2 months after Ethan was hurt didn't do anything to change my comfort, or should I say, my discomfort level.
Whenever I drive into the parking lot at this hospital, where Ethan was brought 16 days after his injury, there's this feeling I experience. I can't really describe it. I felt it today. Briefly. I chose to push the off button. I remember thinking that this visit is about someone else. Not you.
I rearranged the yellow and white lilies in their vase and headed for the front door. This young lady's room was two doors down from Ethan's old room. A room where we lived, died, cried, prayed, gave-up, and hoped for 2 months. It was a room where God breathed for me. Where He taught me about grace. The room, where for the first time in my life, I sat and quietly recalled every benefit of His I possibly could. At that particular moment, I think recalling His benefits kept me from dying of a broken heart. I spent hours in that room with a son that didn't didn't know me. Didn't know life. I felt a sense of pain and despair in that room that I didn't know I could feel and actually survive. But I also felt something I had never really known..................
the perfect peace of God and His unbelievable presence!
I walked quietly into this very sick girl's room and when she saw me, who she really doesn't know well at all, she broke into a smile. She motioned that her mom was asleep in a chair. She giggled and woke her mom. Her mom didn't recognize me (because of the haircut!) and when she did, she started giggling, too. Then this mom told me how serious her daughter's condition is, her other health problems, and about the pain she is in. They shared other things with me that I will keep private. But the bottom line is, they trust God. The mom is trusting God to do what is best for her little girl. The daughter is trusting God to take care of her mom if she ever has to leave her. The daughter, who has never taken a step in her life, talked about the day she will run into the arms of God. I felt like I had been to a praise service, ' cause I had been!
When I walked in that room, I felt like the strong. Going to bring support, encouragement. When I walked out, I knew who the strong ones were. And my name wasn't on that tee-shirt!!!! Their's were.
That's why I grinned at God in the elevator. For the last three days, I thought that I would be doing something for Him and the whole time He was waiting to do something for me.
Good-night mom and daughter. And thanks. I can't wait to come back and visit you...at the hospital!