As soon as said it, I recognized the lie. A lie I have believed for much of my life.
You reap what you sow. You mess up, God's going to punish you. You get out of line, God will get you back in it. Getting too big for your britches, a little too confident? The One that controls everything, will show you who's really boss.
Now turn it around. You are being punished because, you messed up. God is putting you back in line, because you got out of it. God is showing you who's boss because you got too big for your britches. You got too confident. It's all your fault!
The "blame game." Blaming myself and blaming God.
Praise God! I don't believe that lie anymore. The liar has been exposed. Yes. He tried to sneak it in last night. He knew it had been a tough day. Things going on that I just don't understand. Wondering why I have to face so many things at one time. I think he knew I was vulnerable. That it was a good time to shoot a few arrows my way.
As soon as I questioned God, I remembered a quote from Brennan Manning. He wrote in Ruthless Trust...
"Unwavering trust is a rare and precious thing because it often demands a degree of courage that borders on the heroic. When the shadow of Jesus' cross falls across our lives in the form of failure, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, unemployment, loneliness, depression, the loss of a loved one; when we are deaf to everything but the shrink of our own pain; when the world around us suddenly seems a hostile, menacing place-at those times we may cry out in anguish, "How could a loving God permit this to happen?" At such moments the seeds of distrust are sown. It requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us."
I do so believe in pouring our hearts out to God. He has told us to.
"Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us."Psalm 62:8
He can take it. Maybe it's the attitude and humility we approach Him with that makes the difference between planting seeds of trust and those of mistrust.
I know last night, if I had continued, seeds of mistrust would have been sown. That's just where I was. Feeling more entitled than humbled. Approaching God as the taskmaster instead of my "Abba."
Trust me. I didn't walk out of the blame game. He delivered me from it.
I can remember years ago, I was being pressed from every side. I so wanted to do what I had always done before. To scream out at God and say, "What in the world are You doing to me? Are You trying to kill me?" But, I wasn't going to believe the lie. I sat in the middle of my bed, for the longest time, and just said over and over again, "This isn't your fault. You love me. This isn't Your fault. I will not blame You. You love me."
Man! That feels just like it was yesterday.
Because God always does more than we could ever expect... because He wants me to know how much He loves me... because He is always calling me to come closer... because He loves to amaze me, He gave me this in our time this morning.
From Living Light
"The Accuser of our brothers has been thrown down from heaven onto earth-he accused them day and night before our God. * They defeated him by the blood of the Lamb, and by their testimony. * Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No! He is the One who has forgiven us and given us right standing with Himself. Who then will condemn us? Will Christ? No! For He is the One who died for us and came back to life again for us and is sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for us there in heaven.* God took away Satan's power to accuse you of sin, and God openly displayed to the whole world Christ's triumph at the cross where your sins were all taken away. * He became flesh and blood too by being born in human form; for only as a human being could He die and in dying break the power of the devil who had the power of death. * Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us. * Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand safe against all strategies and tricks of Satan. And you will need the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit-which is the Word of God. * How we thank God for all of this! It is He who makes us victorious through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Rev. 12:10, Rev. 12:11, Rom . 8:33-34, Col. 2:15, Heb. 2:14, Rom. 8:37, Eph. 6:11, Cor. 15:57.
God was telling me that He knows I don't want to blame Him. And, that He doesn't blame me. That He doesn't want anyone else to blame me and He doesn't want me to blame myself.
He took care of the "blame game" on the cross.
Yes. I'm gonna mess up. Yes. "He chastens the ones He loves." Hebrews 12:5-8. But the blame was laid on Him.
That's why this game is over. And, through my faith in Jesus Christ, I've won! 1 John 5:4