Thursday, October 30, 2008


For a long time after Ethan was hurt, I couldn't look at pictures of the boys when they were little. Somehow our lives had become divided into before, and after. It was just too painful to look at the before, and to remember the way things should have been.

This past April, as I was looking through pictures for Ethan's birthday post, I cried and I cried and I cried. But, I pushed through it. I was determined to share, through pictures, what a joy Ethan is, and has always been. And as I pushed through it, God showed me something amazing.

I had been looking at our lives all wrong. There never really was a before. There never really is an after. There's just life. Life that's made up of joys, tears, excitement and disappointments. I can avoid what I use to call the before or I can cherish every minute I have ever had or ever will have with my family... and trust God with the tears and disappointments.

All the memories, happy and sad, have made us the family we are. We thought we had lost Ethan. But God gave him back to us. I want to thank Him. And I know I can thank Him by enjoying every memory He has given us. The old ones. And the new ones.

He's a really good God!

The first costume I ever made. I made it for my nephew, Gabe.
Little did I know, my own baby boy would wear it.

This was always dad's job.

No scary costumes for my boy.
Yeah. Right? Give it some time.

This isn't an effigy.
Just a poor attempt at a scarecrow!

Do you like the socks? Ethan was a baby so I put his playpen in the garage so I could go out there and paint the socks. This was before the days of going in a costume store or ordering costumes off the internet. You actually had to make them! Seth was climbing in and out of Ethan's playpen, got his feet tangled in the side and fell back and hit his head on the concrete floor. He got sick to his stomach. I had to take him to the pediatrician. But, looking back, the socks really made the outfit. That, along with that face!

Seth in his playhouse Bob made for him.

Seth never went to sleep. He just passed out!

I was so proud of this Batman costume. I dyed the tights and leotards. I made the feet and arm thingies. I made the head cover. I made the cape and the shorts. I even made the emblem. Yes. I was so proud. And Seth? He cried when he got to preschool because he wanted a $5.99 "store-bought" plastic Batman costume like the other boys had on. Way to go, Mom! (He was cute though, wasn't he? But maybe Batman wasn't supposed to be cute.)

If Ethan hadn't fallen off his bike and loosened his two front teeth,
he probably would have started school with that blue bottle.

Robin liked raisins.

My favorite picture!
Ethan's always loved his big brother.
When he wasn't hugging him, he was biting him!

I love the way Seth used to sit!

I guess, I let Seth be whatever he wanted to be!

I dyed Ethan's hair black for his preschool party. Of course, it was temporary. When I went to pick him up, I freaked out because I couldn't find him. I forgot about dying his hair. I was looking for my little blond-headed boy!

Look at the precious dog in the corner.
I miss her!

Dad was a good sport.

Thanks for indulging me.
I am truly amazed how God has healed our hearts.
I don't know why I'm amazed.
He said He would.

**I have to close and get-up.**
Ethan just reminded me that I promised to be his legs...
and he wants a snack!


  1. God is Good. He always brings out the best in us if we will just let Him. So glad you shared your pictures and your memories. LOVE YOU MaryLois

  2. What great pictures and precious memories!! Love you. MJn

  3. This is so great! I am so impressed with all the costumes. You did a terrific job. I am calling you next year.

  4. I'm a friend of Mary Jo's in Valdosta and always read your blogs. They are so encouraging and good "food for thought", of course I usually cry through them. I don't know what happened to your son but know God certainly put him with the right parents. You're so right, our lives are a quilt of happenings and we are what we are by what we have gone thru--good and bad. You are an angel on earth keep up the good work, you help whoever reads your blog. Oh the costumes were adorable. XO Beverly