Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Sick of myself.

Sick of my problems.

Sick of my needs.

Sick of my plans.

Sick of it all.

That's where I found myself last week.


While trying to find a cure to my sick state, I remembered a devotional I had read by Charles Spurgeon several days before. I read it again.

And again.

And again.

"It is always the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus. But Satan's work is just the opposite: he is constantly trying to make us look at ourselves instead of Christ."

"We will never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our deeds, or our feelings: it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we are to overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking to Jesus."

"Keep your eyes simply on Him: let His death, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, His intercessions, be fresh upon your mind."

I grabbed The Message and turned to Hebrews...

I love the book of Hebrews.

I read Hebrews differently this time. I didn't look for "me" in the words. I didn't look for instructions on how to live. I didn't look for words that told how to have joy, or how to be victorious, or how to have peace.

I just looked for Jesus.

I reached for a journal and a pen. I wrote every word that spoke about Jesus.

Who He is.

Why He came.

What He had done.

Where He is now.

And what He is now doing.

As I read I was tempted to stop, and tell Jesus I was sorry about all the ways I had failed. I was tempted to stop and ask for help to believe His words. I wanted to stop, and tell Him all the ways I needed His help.

I wanted to stop and talk about me.

But, I didn't.

I kept my eyes on Jesus.

When I came to the end of Hebrews, I prayed my prayers of confession. I told God of my needs and the needs of those I love. Then I asked for His help. For His mercy.

I realized that all my "me" problems were answered in Jesus.

Jesus was the cure to all my "me" sickness.

Singing the hymn, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" as a child in church, I always wondered what it meant.

How do you turn your eyes to someone you've never seen before?

I would squeeze my eyes shut, as tightly as I could, and try to imagine what Jesus looked like sitting on the throne next to God. I tried to picture His face and figure out what He was thinking as He looked at me.

As I read through Hebrews, looking for Jesus, I was turning my eyes upon Him.

And I found Him.

And I lost myself.

It felt good.

It felt really good.

I didn't feel sick anymore.

I'm still reading the book of Hebrews. I am finding more and more of Jesus in every verse.

It's true . . .

When we turn our eyes toward Jesus,
And look full into His wonderful face.
The things of earth really do grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

My Gratitude List

106. eyes off of me
107. eyes on Jesus
108. a perfect sacrifice
109. the final sacrifice
110. a clean slate
111. my High Priest
112. the New Way
113. being made presentable
114. a torn veil
115. that Jesus knows my reality
116. this . . .

117. dinner for 4 instead of 3
118. becoming her aunt 26 years ago

119. becoming his great aunt 6 years ago

120. for all the people that love my niece and great-nephew
121. a 1 hour trip instead of a 7 hour trip to see Seth
122. this smile

123. a reminder I'm not alone in the early morning quiet times

124. mornings when a second pot of coffee is needed because there's 4 not 3 coffee drinkers in the house
125. no broken bones after a fall
126. meeting back up with childhood friends on Facebook and sharing memories

(In case you are wondering. . .
My birthday a long time ago.
I'm the first one on the second row.)

If you would like to read the Charles Spurgeon's devotional about "Looking to Jesus," click here. And type in 06/28 for the date.

With much love and gratitude . . .


  1. Thanks once again for sharing your thoughts with me. Miss talking with you. Hope Seth got settled in alright.

  2. Thank you...this just made my day. And I'm thankful for you too, Shishe...and that I have the honor to call you my aunt..

  3. You were darling then and now. Thank you for this wonderful word. I needed it too.