Thursday, November 4, 2010

THE "WHAT-IF" MONTH



Whenever I think of the month of November, I think of . . .

the end of the regular college football season

old faithful family favorite recipes

long-sleeved tee-shirts


making plans for our family of 14

blue skies, cool breezes, and early evenings

quiet beaches and crystal clear water


memories of simple times spent with the people I love

But for the last 6 years, November had also been a month of regrets and "what-ifs."

A month of being taunted with accusations and condemnation.

A month of playing out different scenarios in my head.

"What-if"
I had seen this? "What-if" I had seen that?

November had become a time of remembering every phone conversation I had had with Ethan in the weeks before he was injured, and of asking myself what I had missed. I replayed, in slow-motion, every moment of our last Thanksgiving holiday before his injury, searching for anything that would have warned of the disaster that was waiting around the corner.

"What-if?"

"What-if"
I hadn't been so blind? "What-if" I hadn't been so stupid? "What-if" I hadn't had my head buried in the sand? "What-if" I hadn't placed so much confidence in my parenting skills? "What-if" I hadn't ignored and rationalized away gut feelings and suspicions?

"What-if?"

I was my own tormentor.

Every November, for 6 years, I tormented myself.

And, so did the enemy.

But no more.

No more Novembers wasted on the "what-ifs."

No more wasting an opportunity to thank God and to tell others what He did for me.

Why now? Why this November?


The first step to winning a battle is recognizing that you are in a fight.

For 6 years, every November, unaware of the schemes and ways of the enemy, I stepped right into a fight without realizing that there was a battle going on.

The battle was over the praise and thanksgiving that belonged to God. A battle to keep God, who had poured out His love, and mercy, and healing on my child and my family, from receiving the glory that He so deserved. A battle to destroy my joy and silence my lips to keep me from telling of His goodness and of His wonders.

There was a battle going on to keep me weak, defeated, and discouraged.

The enemy had a plan of attack to keep this mother from ever believing that God's Grace was enough.

But His Grace has always been enough.


Enough for everything.

His Grace is enough to redeem every "what-if" that I've ever imagined.

"O, Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption." Psalm 130:7



HAPPY NOVEMBER!

May your November be filled with His Grace... that is always enough.



2 comments:

  1. Cheri,

    I love this, and really needed to hear it.

    Thank you so much for these wise words.

    Love,
    Kim

    ReplyDelete