Monday, May 9, 2011


Sorry for the absence.

Some in the blogging world call being absent from your blog not caring about your readers. They call it not being committed or disciplined.

I just call it life.

The times that I have been absent from writing, and from this blog, always seem to be times that I find myself more and more convinced that I can't do this life on my own, and that the One who has promised to never leave me alone to do it is true to His word.


A few days ago I looked at Ethan sitting across the room and said, "I'm sorry for my mood the last couple of weeks. I'm sorry that I've been so self-absorbed and that I haven't been there for you."

He smiled and said, "I haven't even noticed."

"Ethan," I said in the voice that reminds him that I'm his mother, "it's not alright to lie."

He said, still smiling, "No Mom. I haven't really noticed."


Seth called to say he was going to spend the day with us on Mother's Day.  He lives in another city about 60 miles away.

 But his firm has a local branch only about 10 miles away where he recently started working twice a week. The night in-between those two days, he stays with us. It is a really special "middle-of-the-week treat" for Jim, Ethan and myself.

I told Seth that he didn't need to come over Sunday, and suggested that maybe he should use that day to rest or to get ready for a busy work week.  I reminded him that we had just been together the weekend before to celebrate Ethan's birthday, and that we would see each other again during the middle of the week. We could celebrate Mother's Day then.

He said, "Of course I'm coming over on Mother's Day. You are the one that holds us all together when the rest of us are falling apart."


In the past few days my boys have given me exactly what I want and exactly what I need . . . GRACE.

The day I first became a mother, I dreamed about the kind of mother I would be.

But my dreams didn't include the failures, the mistakes, or the need for so many "do-overs."

I thought I would be a better mother.

I had no idea, as a new mother, that what I would want, and what I so desperately would need from these two precious boys of mine, would be GRACE.

"The Shepherd leads those with young not to be Hallmark versions of perfection, but rather persevering versions of humility. Grace stands in the gap."  Ann Voskamp 

My mothering has not been perfect by any means of the imagination.

Yesterday, as they thanked me and showered me with gifts and compliments, they were perfectly aware that their mother has not been perfect.

They do not suffer from amnesia when it comes to the times I've lost my temper, the times I have allowed my selfishness to drive my decisions, or the many times I have said one thing, yet lived another.

My boys aren't fooled. They know their mother.

But, where I'm concerned, they have both chosen to be "Grace-Givers."

And the Grace my two sons have given me this week, and all the weeks before, have made me more proud, and more humbled, and more honored to be their mother than anything they could have ever  done.

They have chosen to see my good, instead of my bad.  They have chosen to see my efforts and attempts, rather than my failures. They have chosen to focus on the intent and the motives, instead of the results. They have chosen to understand that I'm like Paul . . . "I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."  (Romans 7:18-19 NLT)

What a wonderful gift is the Gift of Grace.

It isn't a gift you can keep to yourself.

It has to be given in return.

But not return out of requirement or obligation . . .

The need and desire to share the grace you've been given is the overflow of a very, very thankful and humbled heart.

When I fail to offer grace, I have forgotten the Grace given to me by the Greatest Grace Giver Of All . . . Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Seth, thank you for the grace.

Ethan, thank you for the grace.

Thank you Father, for my two precious "Grace-Givers."

My Grace-Givers eating crayfish.
One of the many ways we celebrated Ethan's birthday.

 Two  gifts that were given with the Gift of Grace.


  1. How very special!!! Sounds like your Mother's Day was one that will be lonf remembered. So glad!!

  2. Love this post. I too am so thankful for my little Grace-Givers. I am constantly amazed at how often I fail, yet how awesomely they love in spite of my shortcomings.

    So glad you had such a wonderful Mother's Day. Although with all three of those handsome boys of yours in one house, I wouldn't expect any less.

  3. You and your blog are a blessing to me. I am the mother of two boys also, ages 25 and 28. Your last blogs seem to have been written just for me. I have the very same regrets you do and also the very same need for grace from my precious sons. Thank you for clarifying my thoughts for me and inspiring me to continually seek a closer walk with God.