She gives the word. We write. For five-minutes. That's all.
Whatever is in our heart. Whatever is in our mind.
Whatever is in our heart. Whatever is in our mind.
My grand-niece, and she is truly grand, went to camp this week. That started a conversation between me and my sister about the church camp we went to every year.
I asked her what her memories were about that camp.
She said, "It wasn't a camp. It was indoctrination."
Yes. She does have a way with words. And honesty.
The camp was dominated by rules and schedules instead of joy.
My sister said she did remember enjoying going swimming in the lake and the once a week trip to the only store in town, a drug store, to buy candy and souvenirs.
I told my sister that the main thing I remembered about those summers at camp was one of not belonging.
What a strange childhood memory.
But the feeling of not belonging, I'm sure, was a feeling that I packed along with my bathing suit and Bible and took to camp with me. And a feeling I brought home with me, stronger than ever, as a souvenir.
The feeling of not belonging has hovered over me for as long as I can remember.
I've thought for most of my life that the desire to belong was a sin.
A sin caused by pride, or arrogance, or idolatry.
But I know now that the desire to belong, and the feeling of not belonging, are gifts from God.
Gifts that have caused me to search for the One that created me to belong to Him, and the One who belongs to me.
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."
Song of Solomon 6:3
"I have summoned you by name.
You. Are. Mine."
Isaiah 43:1
Beautifully written, Cheri. I'm so glad you were the post before me on FMF and so thankful I had a chance to read your writing. In a sense, it is tragic that a church camp couldn't more directly point you to the source of your longing for a place at the table. But it is beautiful that you have seen redemption, that God has used that desire to show you how you belong with Him forever. Glad I stopped by!
ReplyDeleteThis resonated with me. Even as an adult who is pretty secure in her relationship with God, at times I feel as if I don't belong (with the group, that circle of friends, that ministry, etc.). However, I find solace in remembering the verses you concluded with today.
ReplyDeleteI am His. That's truly all the belonging I need to focus on.
very well written.
ReplyDelete